Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Sick to my stomach

So I have been feeling very sick these past few days. No... it is not a remnant of the flu that I had last week. It is the thought that we will be getting a letter a week from tomorrow that will tell us where we will be living for the next 6 years. I have never felt anxiety about anything as I do about this. I am having the most difficult time watching and waiting for some computer to decide my fate. AHHHH!!!! I seriously feel as though I am losing my mind. I keep wondering if we ranked the programs correctly or if another order would have been better. I also continue to think about the residencies. Did any of them rank us? If not, we will be staying in NYC for another year while Bryson works on a few research projects at Cornell and re-applies. That would not be the most ideal thing, but I know it is best to remain optimistic about any outcome.

I don't think I can take this type of stress much longer- seriously. Normally I am almost narcoleptic at night when my head hits the pillow, but recently I find myself a ball of nerves at night as my mind races about our future.

We will find out on Monday if we match at all or if we will have to re-apply next year. Then Thursday we open the letter (does this sound like a mission call or what?) that tells us the residency that we have been matched with. We have already signed a contract with all the programs we applied to that states that if we do match, we will go there. It is a done deal.

So I guess I just need to relax and realize that things will turn out well. Bryson and I have been thoughtful and prayerful about our rank list and I know our future is bright. I just will have to deal with the anxiety and lack of sleep until next Thurday!!

9 comments:

Steve and Dayna Magleby said...

dang, reading that post made ME nervous, ha! i am really excited for you guys. i really think everything will turn out well for you guys :)

Ang said...

Jen,
I haven't checked your blog for a while...so when I read the title "Sick to my stomach" my first thoughts were, wow, jen is prego again...guess not. How fun that you get to go see your in-laws so freequently and that you get along so well with them. I am sure that wherever you are matched to, will be wonderful...Texas is a great state, you would love it here. :)

Julia said...

wow, I remember it like it was yesterday. Can't say that I am jealous at all, but it really is kind of amazing.

I think the difference between the match and a mission call is that with a mission call, you know that it is where the Lord wants you to go. I just don't have that kind of faith in a Computer!

Sami said...

At first I thought you were going to say you were pregnant! I have been checking to see if you have found out where you are going yet! I am sure it will all work out just fine! I am glad you are back home and had a great trip. Can't wait to hear the news!

Di said...

yay for Match Day! :) Don't worry, it will all work out Jen!

j & rachel kirkham said...

We'll play with you tomorrow to help take your mind off of it! We can't wait to see you!!

Jewels said...

Oh great, now I'M feeling sick - I can't wait to find out! I know, I know, I'm not even a factor in this. And yet! I can't help but feel anxious!!

Zach and Katie Hillstead said...

that is so exciting! i would go crazy waiting too... but i hope you go to d.c. so we can hang out all summer. love the new blog by the way, good work!

Lauren said...

They make you guys at medical school wait soo long! I will keep my fingers crossed for you guys - I would love to have you guys stay in the city. Hopefully you will find out this week:)